Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Lord Ryven's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, April 23rd, 2009
11:59 pm	Hopes and shit, but not a prayer. Sometimes I hope that whatever is wrong with me is some kind of medical condition that can be fixed. I don't know what keeps me from seeing a doctor to see if it can be fixed... Maybe its fear, fear that whats wrong with me is just me. Maybe afraid to get fixed and become "normal", I don't want to hurt, I don't want to suffer like everyone else around me, and except for the moments where I feel... different; detached; something like that.. Except for those rare moments, I enjoy what I am, I like it, or maybe its just comfortable, and I'm afraid to risk suffering for what I perceive as a minor reward. Would you trade feeling good and powerful all the time, for a promise of something more, that you really do not understand. in the end, I will never have to suffer lose and sadness. But I think my only real fear, the fear of dying alone, is one that my affliction is forcing to fulfillment. And that concludes deep thoughts, with Lord Ryven. Meow. Current Mood: contemplative (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
8:37 pm	PIRACY and the furs on the high seas! If the US government reinstates the law of mark and reprisal to combat pirates. I'm totally going to get my strap, charter a boat, and go bust a cap in some pirates. But first I need a crew! Whos with me?!? Call our attack craft the F.U.R. YIFFER strike fear in the hearts of pirates, they'll be like.. "ohh no, its the yiffer, run away" and stuff like that. rawr ::licks himself:: Current Mood: amused (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 20th, 2009
5:09 pm	I started trying to organize my buddylist for trillian and decided it would be much easier just to erase everyone and readd them as they contact me. Since it seems my buddylist has like 250 people on it, and I only talk to maybe 10 people on there. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 19th, 2009
10:17 pm	I've been playing warhammer40k again. So far, I'm undefeated again.. Crushed deamon hunters, black templars, imperial guard, and codex space marines.. Wednesday I'll give that deamon hunter guy a rematch, and thursday I play eldar. Then this weekend I do the next mission in this scenario me and my friends are having. I love 40k! Current Mood: amused (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 17th, 2009
2:11 am	Man, I am soo hungry... I wish I had a sandwich.. but I must resist the urge to eat so late.. I will eat tomorrow morning. a delicious sandwich with coldcuts.. and yummy BBQ sauce, honey hickory style! RAWR! Current Mood: hungry (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009
12:14 am	be honest with yourself. can I hit that? Mrrrr:) Current Mood: horny (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 13th, 2009
3:33 pm	I am a firm believer that everything bad leads to something good. ::waits:: sometimes it just takes a little longer then we'd like for the good part.. ::waiting:: Current Mood: anxious (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, April 10th, 2009
6:20 pm	how lucky am I to be a furry, and have to associations that come along with it. Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 8th, 2009
2:35 pm	funniest shit ever! Ever have sex and when your girl tries to get off you, she straight up falls off the king size bed? I tried to grab her, but my right shoulder is still fucked up, and has very limited range of motion. I laughed forever! hehe Current Mood: amused (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 5th, 2009
9:28 pm	sexual dysfunction! For the past 7 days, no matter how much booty or manual attention I receive, I am always horny in a way words fail to fully explain. RAWR!! in other news, my body hurts a little less today. Current Mood: horny (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 1st, 2009
9:11 am	meow Current Mood: bored (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 30th, 2009
8:46 am	Damn, I really needed to take a shower, but my room mate beat me to it... thats what I get for posting some whiney shit.... I've been having a lot of furry dreams recently, last night I dreamed of vampires, werewolves, zombies, and werecats(which I apparently was) and how our little societies function waring with those that are different from us and even ultimately alienating our own kind if it became prudent and socially profitable. and a night before that I dreamed I was like the mutates from gargoyles, and like my female friends daughter was taken by humans and I came to the US in search of her. We lived in some bahamah looking vacation paradise, and I ended up in some ghetto city looking for her.. Not really sure what I was following, but I kept ending up in a more and more urbanized location as the dream continued.. From some rural american town, to like, inner city reading lookin place. And in the end, I wokeup before I found her. Wierd. Current Mood: dirty (Comment on this)
8:41 am	Irritation, depression, sence of low worth... It all comes bubbling over like a boiling pot of water with a lid on it. I don't cook, so like, my steam building up analogy may not be accurate. mewl... I lack purpose. Current Mood: anxious (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 23rd, 2009
10:42 am	Fuckin A... I am hungry, but I cannot get to the food store cause my car is manual and I need both my legs to drive it. plus, I don't even think I can manipulate the shifter with my right arm all slung up.. and I cannot order any food, cause I don't have phone access.. not to mention, if I did have a phone, I cannot hold it with my left hand, and I couldnt get it close enough to my face with my fucked up right shoulder.. Grrr... waiting for my girlfriend to come over and take me to buy food and to call enterprise for me to see if they found my phone. This blows.. and white I got your message, I'll call you when I get my hands on a cell phone with a half decent speaker on it. Current Mood: aggravated (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 22nd, 2009
11:46 am	Sometimes even gods fall into despair Fustrated and irritated don't even begin to describe how I feel right now. So I crashed and fucked myself up, fractured a bone in my thumb, possible tore my rotator cuff, and messed up my knee... so this sucks. I was soo looking forward to FWA and chillin with mad people, but instead, I get a whole lot of bullshit. And I like to think that I control everything around me, and I guess I really do in the end. But ocasionally, I wish my reaction timing was just alittle faster. Missing the con is only a minor irritation I suppose, I can see the people I wanted to see at the con anytime I want, it would just mean alot of driving and coordination. But now I've lost my health and ability to engage in physical activity. I'm just glad I purchased that insurance for 12 bucks, better safe then sorry. So I guess thats the only shining light. Maybe next time. Ohhh yea, I lost my cell phone too, and since money is strapped I Don't know how long it will be before I can buy another Iphone. Maybe I'll get lucky and they will find that shit in the wreckage. I guess I'll call enterprise on monday. grrrr.. I'm soo streesed and injured I can't even think straight. ::cries:: Current Mood: distressed (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009
11:15 pm	Anyone going to FWA? I'm trying to find 1 more for my room, maybe 2 more if I had to. but that would be pushing it. plus I'd like to caravan to FWA. Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
9:31 pm	Sometimes you get that little piece of information that makes the whole puzzle come into focus! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
3:29 pm	I speak, but will they listen? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 28th, 2009
1:40 am	I feel like something very important to me is gone. I'm not sure why exactly... but like, I think my inner child died, I don't feel all free spirited and goofy. I feel off, hmmm. ::ponders:: Current Mood: contemplative (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 22nd, 2009
12:52 am	Sometimes I miss the people who use to be my friends. Current Mood: calm (5 Comments |Comment on this)